On Weaning Our Twins

 

From the first moments our twins arrived to this world, 18 minutes apart, their instinct was to nurse, to nourish their selves and seek comfort with their mother who had carried them to term.

I had breast-fed our three older daughters and briefly tandem nursed with Lana and Madelyn, who had just turned two when her sister was born a week later. But, I had not anticipated the feeding demand of twin babies. I eased into it, nursing them together more often than apart.

My hunger seemed insatiable and I continued to eat the protein bars that I had used to supplement my diet during my pregnancy so the twins would gain birth weight. I also drank tons of water and Mother's Milk Tea to help with my milk supply.

As with each baby before, we found our routine and settled into it.   

What worked for us? Determination, nursing on demand, designating sides to each twin, co-sleeping so I was able to roll to whichever baby woke and nurse them back to sleep with ease and almost no sleepless nights for myself or the other family members. 

As with the older girls, the process of weaning was always the same. I was more ready than they were, usually due to a new pregnancy and the irritation that the early months of sickness and exhaustion delivered. The nursing times were usually held to short sessions at nap and bedtime. With the twins, they nursed as a way to get undivided attention alone with me as well. 

In my early weeks of this new pregnancy, I had to stay on my feet often to avoid Isabella and Grace's desire to crawl into my lap to nurse. When I did hold or sit with them, they would always pat me for milk.  I would explain that they were growing into big girls and did not need to drink milk any more. I constantly reassured them that I loved to be with them and that I was glad to have them near me, even when they were not nursing.

There was resistance at first. There were tears and frustration. There was giving in on days when I was too tired to stay on my feet and we would snuggle under a blanket to nurse and take a nap.

Then one day in August, neither twin asked for milk.

It was the day that I had been easing them into for weeks on end, and when it arrived I had mixed emotions. On one hand, I was sad to know my 27 months of nursing twins was over. On the other, I was glad Isabella and Grace had come to mutual terms with this next step in their lives.

A passage on weaning from a recently finished memoir I read, The Blue Jay's Dance by Louise Erdrich spoke for this moment as well:

"Time stops around us for a moment, scenes held in a snowy globe. Hold back! Stop! I panic, unprepared for change, but it's too late. She sweeps on in her life. I cannot gather back one moment, only marvel at what comes next."

They did nurse a couple times after that fateful date but briefly and usually due to the overwhelming draw of sleep. They will fall asleep now with their Daddy in the rocking chair or by curling up next to their sisters who welcome them under a blanket before bedtime. 

Most nights, their night routine is spent with me in our bed before they are placed in their own room.

On a rare occasion, one or the other will pat my breast and look up at me to question, "Mil-milk"?  

I reply, "Yes, my sweet, that was your milk."  

And content enough with that answer, they close their blue eyes and drift off to dream.

Ponyo and Breastfeeding

Last night, I went to see Ponyo, a film from the Academy Award-winning director and world-renowned Japanese animation legend Hayao Miyazaki.

Hayao Miyazaki's other films include Spirited Away, Howl's Moving Castle, and Princess Mononoke.

Ponyo is a visually stunning fairy tale with elements from The Little Mermaid (she is a goldfish that wishes to become human) and The Beauty and the Beast (the little boy, Sosuke, who must "love her in any form").

I took Madelyn, age 8, with me to see this fantastic film! One of our 100 Fun, Frugal Things to Do for this summer included, "Watch an Anime film". She left the theater starry-eyed and said Ponyo was, "Amazing!"

One scene struck me as particularly impressive with dialogue between the little girl, Ponyo and a nursing mother.

Ponyo accompanies Sosuke in his boat on an adventure to find his stranded mother. They cross paths with a mother, father and their young baby. Ponyo opens up a container of soup and pours some to offer the baby.

The mother explains to Ponyo that the baby is too young to eat soup; he only drinks milk. She states that she will drink the warm soup so that she can make milk for her baby to drink!

Sosuke chimes in that when he was a baby his mother made milk for him, also!

I wanted to applaud in the middle of the movie for that scene! I found it wonderful that a clear discussion of breastfeeding was included in a movie intended for young audiences.

"Thank you, Miyazaki!"

Check out a film clip from Ponyo *here* and visit the official movie site for trailers, desktop downloads, a game and much more!

The Case FOR Breastfeeding

There has been a buzz recently about an article published in The Atlantic by Hanna Rosin, The Case Against Breastfeeding. I generally don’t judge people’s preferences on this topic. I chose to breastfeed. Some people don’t.

I wonder why Rosin must justify her reasons behind choosing formula by kicking breastfeeding mothers down a notch? Maybe Rosin could have directed her article towards evidence that formula is a wiser choice. I didn’t feel she gave her audience much of an argument. She certainly did not give me a reason to decide against breastfeeding or to falter in my opinion that I am giving my babies the best start to life.

I tandem nursed my two oldest. I have breastfed every baby immediately after their home births. I currently breastfeed the twins. I have shared a bed with all my babies and can truly say my husband and I have never lost a night of sleep over it (well, maybe one or two). I have never put the babies on a feeding schedule. They eat when they are hungry and stop when they are full. My milk is free, always at temperature, never needs to sterilized or mixed, and I can take it with me anywhere I go! I’ve nursed in parking lots, in amusement parks, at birthday parties, in parks, at friend’s homes, in restaurants, in my backyard, at school events and in the audience of dance recitals!

When Rosin commented in her article that, “..when people say that breast-feeding is “free,” I want to hit them with a two-by-four. It’s only free if a woman’s time is worth nothing”, I shook my head in disbelief! I’d have to respond that I’m more than willing to spend my time nursing my babies; it’s the best to my knowledge that I can offer them! So how can I ever put a price on that?”

If you are interested in supporting mothers who breastfeed, you can write a letter to the editor of The Atlantic. There is a premade letter with talking points that you can add or edit to get this important message across. Don’t let a woman’s choice to breastfeed go misrepresented in the media once again!